Mercy, Baby

Mercy has ben given to me today and I feel pretty damn good. My breathing feels a little more under control (I was actually able to do some yoga today--something I haven't been able to do for over a year and a half!!), my energy has been good, and I was able to read about 70% of a normal sized paragraph of a magazine (with the help of strong reading glasses and a magnifying glass). STILL.....I'll take it!!!!

If this is what my thirties are going to be like, I think I'm really going to like this decade. :-) (Cue up Annie singing, "I think I'm gonna like it here!")

Faith and hope

Lately, I've started watching that daytime show, The View, and I must say that I really like their segment called, "Hot Topics." Yesterday, they had a bit where Whoopie asked a guest if she still had hope that something was going to happen to her. Whoopie asked, "Is there a time when faith/hope becomes denial?" I pauseed my TiVo and thought about this. This is what has actually been bothering me lately. I've had this hope all along that my lungs are eventually going to get better and that I will get better, with only the occasional doubt that I won't. There are some of those lower days when I wonder if I'm just not accepting the fact that I will never recover and, in fact, it might only get worse. What keeps me going is the hope that I WILL get better, but obviously, I really don't know either way. At what point does hope become denial?

Here's looking at you, kid...

I have some GREAT news. My vision is improving!! We have confirmed objective measurements from my neuro-opthamologist that show an over 50% increase in my vision! I went from having 20/200 vision three weks ago to testing at 20/100 yesterday! YAYE! Also my visial field test showed a reduction in dimensions of the central blur spot as well as my color sensitivity tests are more accurate.. I am SO relieved that it is starting to heal up. I think it will still be at least a month before I can drive or read something (without the help of multiple tools), but HEY, I'll take it. I'm already jumping at the bit (that's the expression, right?) to get back to apinting. It's been so frustrating to not be able to produce anything during these past few months. Ralph says, to sketch them down so that I can paint them wehen I can see again, but the problem is, if I can't see to paint them, I also can't see enough to accurately sketch the concept for myself. :-/ So, I'm really looking forward to seeing again! (hehe...get it?)