radiation complete

Today I finished radiation treatment. :-)

Now, we all cross our fingers....

today's radiation

"Okay, Stacy" is how I know they're ready for me.
Mike, the radiation therapist, will call from the hallway to take me to the big laser. I like Mike. He's tall, older and pretty nice. He sees my tits daily for free, so I guess he's going have a certain amount of sweetness.

"I hear Victor was mean to you yesterday," he says smiling. He's referencing when the machine crapped out between position 2 and 3 yesterday and I had to wait.

"Naw, it wasn't so bad." I smile. Whenever he talks about Victor, the other technician, I get that 2-second flash "Who-Victor? My ex-Victor?" I know he's talking about the other tech guy in the room, but the only other Victor I know served a quick 7-month stint as my husband three years ago.

That's interesting.

If we'd stayed together, we would have just celebrated our third anniversary this past spring. And I would have had cancer ever since.

Weird.

...sometimes it seems surreal to me. *I* have cancer. *I* am lying on a cold, plastic plank receiving radiation treatment for a stubborn group of disrespectful cells. Stubborn like me.

Damn.

"Lost"

My second painting has been completed and I've taken a snapshot of it with my digital camera in my apartment. It's titled, "Lost." I started it when I had just gotten the news this spring that my cancer had returned. I felt trapped. Frustrated. Uninspired. The future was dark and uncertain...a.k.a. lost.

I'm not sure if it is really finished right now...in some places, it looks a little too bright and lacking of detail. Perhaps, I'll adjust it....

ps. please excuse the random surroundings...my place isn't set up like a photography studio. The lighting isn't the best, and the shot is taken at an angle, but for those of you who wanted to see the next painting, this gives an idea of it's subject matter.

testing

...this is the first of post to my blog.